Tuesday, November 15: Revision of Introduction

Hello again, all!

Here is this week's presentation: Lesson 12.

As we discussed in class, we're working on revising our introductions to draft 1.1 this week. A good introduction: (1) attracts the reader's attention and (2) presents the topic and makes a comment on it.

When you look at your introduction, keep these elements in mind:

• Strong lead/hook: General statement about the topic, attention grabber, used to ease the reader into your paper. Don't get side-tracked here.
• Context/background information: HERE is the ONE place where you want to summarize the author's argument. What are they writing about? Where was it published? Who are they trying to reach? What is their purpose in doing so? If you present background information effectively, it should lead right into your audience identification.
• Thesis statement: Your definitive argument about the author's use of rhetoric. Are you arguing that the author does a good job? Are you accurately setting up what will follow in your paper?

Homework:

• Reading:
• St. Martin's Handbook: Chapters 4i, 4k-l, 5a-b, 5d-e, "Revising Paragraphs Sentences, Words, and Tone," "Editing," "Proofreading the Final Draft"; Chapters 50 and 53, "Concise Writing," "Memorable Prose" pp. 82, 87-92, 661-664, 678-685
• BA8
• Bring a HARD COPY of your most recent draft to class (or if you don't bring a hard copy, you MUST know how to use "Track Changes" on your laptop)

Brief Assignment #8:

Objective: To develop new strategies for writing effective introductions for academic papers and to expand your understanding of what makes an effective introduction.

Purpose: The introductory paragraph of a document plays a key role in how readers respond to the entire text. In this assignment, you will attempt a revision of your introduction to Draft 1.1. Keep in mind that your original introduction may remain the better of your two efforts.

Description: Your completed assignment should contain the following:

• A copy of your original introduction
• Your revised introduction
• A short summary and evaluation of your revisions, in which you identify and explain what you changed and why

The total length of the analysis should be 300-400 words, NOT including the original and revised introductions.

Before you start to revise, take a few minutes to review key elements of your Draft 1.1, such as your audience, purpose, and thesis statement. Your new introduction should reflect your consideration for each of these as well as indicate your understanding of what a rhetorical analysis accomplishes.

Next, study your original introduction and any comments that your instructors or peer critiquers made about that introduction. Using this feedback along with your broader understanding of a rhetorical analysis, revise your original introduction so that it more effectively reaches your readers.

Please note that if you need to revise for coherence, emphasis, or conciseness, refer to Chs. 50 and 53 of your e-handbook. If you need to work on sentence structure, see Chs. 44-49. If you need to work on other grammatical and/or mechanical elements, consult the appropriate chapters.